The Super Mario Bros. Movie
It’s a meh Mario
Jack Black's Bowser is the only one up in this by-the-numbers Super Mario Bros. Movie.
No one believes in brothers Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day). Their old boss mocks them. Their family believes their new plumbing business will fail. And even dogs they encounter seemingly want to make their lives harder.
But when the two end up working in a sewer, things change.
Instead of finding the proverbial alligators in the New York sewer system, Mario and Luigi discover a portal to a new world. Unfortunately, the portal separates the brothers. Luigi lands in a haunted land with a creepy mansion. Mario manages to plop down in the Mushroom Kingdom, which is filled with friendly little beings and bright colors. The kingdom is presided over by Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), who guides her people with kindness and heart.
Peach isn’t only beloved in her kingdom. The evil Bowser (Jack Black) has been conquering all the neighboring kingdoms to impress the princess. And now that he’s baring down on the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach will have to rally her subjects and fight — good thing a small mustachioed plumber has fallen into her lap to help her!
Can Mario and Peach defeat Bowser? Will Luigi ever find a spine? Can you find the warp zone in this movie and skip directly to the credits?
Just in time for the holiday Nintendo and Universal Pictures release a 90-minute Easter Egg hunt! And that’s all this very underwhelming film is, a litany of references, both obvious and deep cuts, designed to keep the audience exclaiming “I understood that reference!” instead of thinking about the plot. Admittedly, the movie is better than the 1993 movie, but what isn’t? And while pointing at the screen whenever you see a Jumpman poster or whispering to your seatmate about the differences between Cranky Kong (Fred Armisen) and Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen) might make you feel smart for a second, it’s ultimately a bit hollow of an experience.
And hollow seems to be the operative word for the rest of the movie. Pratt is fine as Mario. Yes, he does the old-school accent for a joke. Yes, he says “mama mia” a few times. But ultimately he’s just the generic funny-guy lead of every single animated movie that features LEGOS or Minions. Close your eyes and he could be Emmet from the LEGO Movie (also played by Pratt). He’s an ordinary guy who just so happens to be special when the right woman decides he is.
And the right woman is probably the worst bit in this film. Poor Anya Taylor-Joy is saddled with the “spunky-girl” role. Princess Peach is a head of state, a fierce fighter, and a brave young woman. So of course when she meets a random plumber from Brooklyn she puts the impending invasion of her nation aside to personally train him. She’s still better than him at fighting, but only ever says encouraging things. When push comes to shove, she lets Mario fight and plan battles because that’s what spunky girls do — they’re only competent until they find a man to come along because being in charge is tough! Seriously, once Mario says he’s going on the mission 90% of Peach’s dialogue becomes inane support quotes about how cool Mario is.
But Peach gets screentime, which is more than one can say for Luigi. The poor guy isn’t even player 2 in a movie with Mario Brothers in the title. He’s got nothing to do but screech and defer to his brother. Directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic try to throw in a bit of a backstory for the brothers, but it just ends up making Luigi look more pathetic and underdeveloped.
At least the movie encourages kids to eat their mushrooms.
But it’s not game over for the Super Mario Bros. Movie, mostly thanks to their villain. Black leans hard into his bombastic brand, making Bowser a lovesick nerd who likes to jam on the piano when he’s not breathing fire. He’s also the star of the funniest sequence in the film — the penguin battle at the beginning of the film. It’s a genuinely funny take on the character, and one that had me wishing we get a Super Mario Bros. 2: Bowser Begins origin story when this movie inevitably makes a mint at the box office.
Overall, if you’re a kid or a Nintendo fanatic, this movie probably won’t offend. It’s light, frenetic, and filled with the type of humor one would come across in a Minions movie or one of the lesser Shreks. If you’ve never played Super Mario Bros., however, god help you if you buy a ticket.
Verdict: If you’re a kid, or enjoy annoying people by correcting them on Nintendo trivia, this is for you. Otherwise, spend your quarters elsewhere.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie is rated PG and is available in theaters April 7.
